Clouston Hall Sampler Found

Clouston Hall, located in Franklin, Tennessee was the home to Margarett A. Clouston, who lived to be 92 years old. Her father,Edward Graham Clouston, local dry goods store owner and druggist, had the federal style  home designed for his family in 1821 by Joseph Reiff.  Margarett was born only three years later on June 21, 1824. The Tennessee Sampler Survey website has a brief biography of Margarett:

Margaret Ann Clouston (1824-1916) had easy access to embroidery supplies as her father, Edward G. Clouston, owned a dry goods store which advertised “an Assortment of Fancy Goods” including silks, merinos, and Irish linens. Margaret received her education at the Franklin Female Academy.

The site goes on to describe Margarett's recently found sampler:

Margaret's sampler represents a transition from the earlier silk samplers to the wool samplers of the mid 19th Century. Her choice of borders includes queen stitched strawberries, an ancient pattern that can be found on 16th Century English needlework.

The Governess of Carnton: A Confederate Love Story

Carnton Plantation in Franklin, Tennessee

She walked through the halls of Carnton Plantation House amongst the cries of wounded and dying soldiers, blood soaked skirts skimming the floors. She sat by the bedsides of men, seeing them slowly fade away, wiping their brow and writing their final letters to their families, sweethearts, children. The woman that comes to mind here may sound like the focus of Robert Hicks best-selling novel Widow of the South, Caroline "Carrie" Winder McGavock. However, there was more than one important heroine with a love story attached at Carnton Plantation when it was made into a field hospital that terrible Indian Summer evening in Franklin, Tennessee when the famed Battle of Franklin ravaged the town.

 Elizabeth Fields Clouston was the governess for the McGavock children who resided at Carnton. The McGavocks, had a total of five children.Only two were still living by the time the war arrived on the front steps of Carnton Plantation. The Mcgavock children, Winder, 7 and Hattie, 9, most certainly could have never realized the carnage which quickly entered their home as it transformed into a field hospital.  It's not completely clear when Elizabeth Clouston would have begun working as the governess to the children, but it's possible it may have been for a few years prior to 1864.

Winder and Hattie Mcgavock

If you know anything at all about The Battle of Franklin, you know it is infamously known as the bloodiest battle of the civil war. In only five short hours, going into the night, 10,000 casualties occurred. Eyewitness accounts claim you couldn't walk across the battlefield without stepping on a soldier, with many piled on top of each other, falling as they were wounded or died. More than 1750 of the dead were confederates, 200 union soldiers. So many were wounded, that 44 homes in Franklin, Tennessee were turned into field hospitals. Over 300 of these wounded men were sent to Carnton Plantation. Before the sun rose the following morning, 150, half of them, had already died. It was a sad and desperate situation, and one the mistress of Carnton, Caroline "Carrie" Winder McGavock handled with grace, empathy and a devotion  that she maintained until she drew her final breath. Carrie is know as the "widow of the south' because of her commitment to not only the soldiers following the battle, but to the maintenance and safe-keeping of their burials until her death. Carrie and her husband John donated two acres of their land at Carnton for the proper burials of the soldiers.
Elizabeth or "Lizzie' Clousten did not achieve fame for her devotion to the soldiers during their dark hours after the battle, although she surely nursed them with all of the steadfast devotion Carrie Mcgavock exhibited. But Lizzie does have a very interesting story. Elizabeth Fields Clouston was born in 1833 in Franklin, Tennessee to Edward and Senia Clouston. Her father had come from Scotland and he owned a dry goods store where he worked as a druggist in Franklin. The Clouston house still exists on beautiful 2nd avenue, a pristine historic street in the downtown area of Franklin, Tennessee.

Clouston Hall in downtown Franklin, Tennessee is now home to an art gallery called Gallery 202.

It was common for a woman of a certain age to be considered an "old maid" if she wasn't married by a certain time in her life. On November 30, 1864, the day of the Battle of Franklin, Lizzie Clouston would have been 31 years old. The mistress of Carnton, Carrie Mcgavock, was only 34. It's possible that Carrie and Lizzie may have been friends as well as employer and employee, since they were so close in age and attended the Franklin Presbyterian Church together. At any rate, evidence of Lizzie being present during the time of the battle of Franklin as experienced at Carnton is very eloquently memorialized in a series of letters penned by a civil war soldier who was taken to Carnton. Captain Roland W. Jones was a member of the 1st Battalion of the Mississippi Sharpshooters, and he was badly injured during the battle. Both arms being broken, and with one leg almost completely shot off, Jones was in bad shape.  Lizzie Clouston nursed Jones back to health, and he was the very last soldier to leave the Mcgavock home. During this time together, Clouston and Jones fell deeply in love, as evidenced by this excerpt of a letter he wrote to her from the hospital in Nashville:

"Four days have elapsed since we left Franklin and we are still prisoners. It is a short period of time, yet the anxiety and suspence of years seems concentrated in it. Those and only those that love deeply and devotedly can fully appreciate the torture of being separated from those that are dearer far to them than life itself, and they, only after they have been tutored by recesses of my heart and see how fully and entirely its every throb and impulse are your own. In the language of the infatuated Hargrove, I think of the Sacred Past of those I love, and every form and face is that of one whose image is engraved indelibly on the tablets of my heart. I am often in imagination transported back to Col. McGavocks and fancy that I am rested in the Hall watching with restless impatience for the appearance of her who is dearer to me than the whole world beside. Such pleasing defusions are short lived however and sober reason whispers that inexorable fate has decreed that prison walls shall for a time separate us.
I console myself with the reflection that this state of things will soon be over, and at no distant day, I will be able to claim you as my own, and in exstatic happiness that will then be mine forget all of my past trials and sufferings.  My Lizzie shall it not be so – I feel assured that no effort of yours will be wanting to bring so desirable a result."

Captain Roland W. Jones met Lizzie Clouston at Carnton while the home served as a field hospital.

 It's apparent from the loving words in this letter, that Jones was sweeping Clouston off of her feet, after falling head over heels in love. His hopes for the future were obviously being thrown off course by the fact that he was being held prisoner by the Federals in Hospital number 2 in Nashville. Before the civil war broke out, Jones had been a very wealthy plantation owner in Yalobusha County, Missisippi. Having married Elizabeth Hairston in 1852, she had passed away shortly after the birth of their child in 1862. Meeting Clouston was probably a godsend to Jones, knowing he would most likely face going back to a life that had quickly been snuffed out by the brutality of the times.
Lizzie Clouston and Roland Jones were married on December 14, 1865, only two weeks past the one year anniversary of the battle of Franklin. The affair had to be a joyous one for the Clouston family, as it most likely signified the end of a terrible chapter for Franklin, Tennessee. The Clouston-Jones union also was the first marraige of the four oldest Clouston daughters. Lizzie would go back to Roland's Yalobusha County, Mississippi plantation to live, They had two children,  Maria Louise Jones in 1868 and Carrie Mcgavock Jones in 1869. Evidently, their second child, Carrie McGavock Jones, was named for the mistress of Carnton, an indication of  Lizzie's admiration for her former employer. Unfortunately, shortly after the birth of Carrie Mcgavock Jones, Lizzie died. Probably as a result of complications from childbirth.
The letters Roland wrote to Lizzie will be forever immortalized, and because of their preservation, Lizzie will be a young and beautiful civil war heroine forever. Lizzie died at only 37 years old. She left behind two young daughters, an already grieving husband and a devastated family in Franklin, Tennessee.
February 13, 1872 Captain Roland W. Jones and Lizzie Clouston's younger sister by fourteen years, Emma Wilson Clouston would marry. They would go on to have two more children, both girls.

Carnton Plantation as seen from the Confederate Cemetery, the largest private one in the United States

Letters written by Captain Roland W. Jones can be viewed at Carnton Plantation in Franklin, Tennessee where their love story began. They are framed and on display within the mansion and can be seen when touring. 

Grandpa Milford's Confederate Certificate

Happenstance. Irony. Call it whatever you like, but what happened to me on the way out to dinner the other night was nothing less than completely amazing. While on a fifteen minute car ride to, of all places, Ruby Tuesday's, I got the urge to google my second great grandfather's name, Milford Eugene Pentecost. Now, I am aware of the fact that it may seem strange to some people that I was searching for family history information on my phone, in the car, with only a couple of minutes of time to spare-but to those history lovers and genealogy obsessed, you get it. The result I came up with was a listing on ebay for Milford's original and framed C.S.A. Confederate Framed Certificate. The listing was out of Paradise Valley, Arizona...and Milford's certificate was going to the highest bidder, with a reserve price of $995. The auction had been over for almost a year, because Captain Pentecost's very rare certificate had already been sold. Here is the photo that accompanied the auction:

As you can see from the photo above, no words are necessary. This, to me, and really any descendant of any soldier, anywhere, is the find of a lifetime. I was beyond excited. Just to have this low quality picture of this document was such a gift to me, knowing that it belonged to my second great grandfather. It occurred to me that maybe, if I were a different sort of person, I might possibly harbor some anger or resentment that this heirloom, which to me was priceless, was being sold by a complete stranger to whatever bidder came up with the highest offer. I don't think you can work on your own genealogy consistently unless, at some junction early on during the infancy of your journey, that you shed yourself of entitlement. I have absolutely no feeling that I am entitled to any information, documents, ephemera or "stuff" associated with any of my family. I was blessed with Paternal Grandparents, Frank and Louise Hay Pentecost, who left me with an extensive and very well-written Pentecost genealogy entitled "There is a Tide Which..." This manuscript was handed down to me personally at a very young age, when my grandparents began to realize  I had inherited their passion for research. There are also copies filed with both the Georgia and Alabama State Archives. My own copy, still in the original green folder, is one of my greatest treasures. It shows their commitment and passion to research, all done in the late sixties and throughout the 1970's and 80's, during a time when finding any information in compiling accurate trees, was almost impossible without extensive travel to courthouses, archives and cemeteries all over the nation. They spent countless hours compiling biographies of as many Pentecost ancestors as they were able using records, but also through interviewing other family members. Below is a photo of Captain Milford Eugene Pentecost handed down to me by my Grandparents. 

Captain Milford Eugene Pentecost, Sr.

Below, is Captain Milford Eugene Pentecost biography, taken from the manuscript written by my Grandparent's:

"Milford Eugene Pentecost, was the eighth and youngest son of John Wesley and Mary Pentecost, was born in Newnan, Coweta County, Georgia, on January 5, 1833. Although he was at home with his mother and brothers in 1850, he later moved to Rome, Georgia, beginning his professional career as factor for a cotton brokerage firm. He was not married at the time of the Civil War, and enlisted in Rome on 23 August 1862 in Captain Van Den Corput's Company of the Cherokee Light Artillery, rated as Quartermaster Sergeant. On 24 January 1863, by order of General Stevenson, he was transferred to Company C, 31st regiment of the Alabama Infantry. He was captured at Vicksburg on 4 July 1863 and later that year was one of a group of exchanged prisoners. He went into winter quarters at Dalton, Georgia, and in the spring of 1864, fought in the campaign through Georgia to the Battle of Atlanta. He was honorably discharged at the time of the surrender in Greensboro, North Carolina. It has been a family legend that Milford Eugene was a witness to the "Great Locomotive Chase" which started at Big Shanty, but if this be the case, he was a civilian onlooker--not having enlisted for many months after the event took place on 12 April 1862.

Milford Eugene Pentecost was married twice; his first wife was Annie Elizabeth (Ella) Alexander, born 20 August, 1844.  They had two children, Annie Elizabeth and Milford Eugene, Jr.  Ella (Alexander) Pentecost died 11 November 1884 and is buried in the family lot in Myrtle Hill Cemetery in Rome, Georgia.  Two years later, Milford Eugene married Nora (Huff) Boyd, a young widow with a small daughter, Mary Boyd. Nora was born in Warrenton, Georgia 17 December 1858, the daughter of Isaac and Icey (Turner) Huff.  Her father had been an outstanding lawyer in Warrenton, and active in political affairs of the region.  He served during the Civil War as 1st Sergeant, Company F, 7th Battalion, Cavalry, of the Georgia State Guards.  Isaac Huff died in 1864 of illness contracted in camp, and Icey died a short time after the close of the war. Nora Huff was taken into the home of her aunt, Mrs. Mary Mandell, an older half sister of Icey.  The Mandell's daughter, Annie, and Nora were near the same age and grew up as almost sisters.  Nora was an intelligent and extremely capable young girl and received her education at Brenau College in Gainsville, Georgia. She taught school for some time before her marriage to R. J. Boyd, a Louisville, Georgia newspaperman.  He was the owner and editor of the Louisville "News & Farmer" and their wedding was one of much magnificence and a notable social event.  Though the newspaper account of their marriage predicted a long and happy marriage, events proved otherwise as Mr. Boyd died within two years, shortly before the birth of their daughter, Mary. Nora resumed her position as a teacher and cousin Annie, by then Mrs. Munnerlyn, cared for little Mary Boyd.  During a summer recess from teaching. Nora made reservations for a vacation at the famous resort hotel in Cave Springs, Georgia.  It was one of the favorite "watering places' of that era, patronized by southerners who went to "take the waters".  She and little Mary arrived at the hotel during a summer thunderstorm and one of the gentleman (who she later described as being very distinguished looking) standing on the gallery of the hotel politely offered to assist her with her luggage and the baby.  She thus became acquainted with Milford Eugene Pentecost.  After her return to Waynesboro, they kept up a correspondence which lead to their marriage in Waynesboro on 10 March 1886.

Milford Eugene Pentecost was commissioner of a cotton warehouse in Rome and it was in this city they lived for the next decade.  In 1886, he was elected President of the Stock Exchange, an affluent and outstanding person in business and social affairs in Rome.  The prosperous business of cotton trading was brought to a standstill only a short time later in the depression which developed during the Cleveland administration, and the whole country suffered severe financial reverses. In 1895, Milford Eugene Pentecost moved his family to Gadsden, Alabama, where he had received an appointment as Justice of the Peace, also holding a position on the local Board of Pensions.  As he grew older, his health declined, he was forced to retire from active business and at the age of seventy-one made application for a Confederate Pension.  The Pension was granted and continued until his death 8 April 1915.  After the death of Milford Eugene, Nora drew a Confederate Widow's Pension.  She had established a very successful magazine agency during the time of their residence in Gadsden and continued her business activities until shortly before her death on 18 November 1934. Milford Eugene and Nora Pentecost are buried in Forrest Cemetery in Gadsden, and with the exception of his daughter, Annie (Pentecost) Macgruder who is buried in Rome's Myrtle Hill Cemetery, all their children are buried near them in the same cemetery."

Beautifully, written, Captain Pentecost would be proud of the elegant words written about his life, and that they have been so generously shared with future generations. I was very blessed to have received a kind response from the ebay seller who had my great grandfathers Certificate for sale. It seems he'd already sold it, but without any hesitation, he shared the name of the buyer. He also went so far as to offer to keep a watch for any other items of the Pentecost family that he may run across, and wished me the best of luck in my quest. The buyer for the certificate was in Cartersville, Georgia. So, Milford had made his way, through his certificate, almost home...from Rome, Georgia, to Gadsden, Alabama to Arizona and now almost full circle back to where it all began in Rome. Quite ironic. Saying a little prayer for this next owner of Milford's certificate to be a kind as the first, I went to work to uncover the mystery of how this treasure ended up in Arizona.

Working under the assumption that the eldest child usually inherits the family photos, documents, etc. I went down through the family tree to Captain Milford Pentecost's oldest son, Milford Eugene Pentecost, Jr. (1875-1960). Now, I recalled that my grandparent's had spoken fondly of Milford Jr. They were both extremely grateful for his willingness to share the family bible, allow them to copy old documents and photos, and especially for his the wonderful memories and family stories.Milford Jr's oldest son was named Milford Morrow Pentecost (1907-1996) and he was born in Gadsden, Alabama  and died in Sun City, Maricopa, Arizona. BINGO! It seems Milford Morrow Pentecost married a Ruth Tuckey, originally from Maricopa, and just as a sidenote, she was a golf pro and President of the Arizona Women's Golf Association in 1960. Milford Morrow passed away in 1996, and at that time, he and Ruth were childless. Ruth died in Oregon, at the age of ninety in 2003. It's easy to see how the certificate most likely fell into the hands of people on the outside of Captain Milford Eugene Pentecost's family, and in Arizona.

I heard back from the buyer who purchased the certificate in Cartersville, Georgia. He was as willing to help as the seller on ebay he purchased it from, but unfortunately he'd sold the certificate almost immediately at a Civil War memorabilia show. I am very grateful for both of these kind men in answering my emails quickly and exhibiting such empathy, and a true willingness to help. It truly was a pleasure speaking with them both.
It is unfortunate that the certificate has once again disappeared, but I have to be very grateful that I got the one photo of it-and that maybe there is a  chance it may reappear again!
Lots of lessons are learned here. The first, and most important, is to make certain important family heirlooms are securely in the hands of family members with a true love for genealogy and preserving the integrity of those heirlooms. Write it in your will, leave a notarized letter with another family member in regards to your wishes, at the very least, label the heirloom with the name of the intended recipient. If you aren't able to do that, pass the item on. At the very least, find out if there is one person in your family with a love for genealogy, and a selfless spirit for photographing, documenting, sharing the item, whatever it may be, with other family members.

The discovery of the existence of this certificate sent me on a very enjoyable and interesting journey, and I look forward to knowing more about Grandpa Milford in the future! I really, really wish I could have known him!

  

Fabulous Playhouse Warming Party

I found this absolutely adorable Playhouse House Warming and just had to share it-what an inspiration!   Julie,  at Kinser Event Company  has definitely become one of my favorite blogs!  Julie's husband created this gorgeous Victorian playhouse for their daughter, Hannah, and Julie made the inside look party perfect!  Her daughter Hannah is one lucky little girl!

Please look at Julie's other fabulous blogs over at Kinser Event Planning!
Look at this adorable playhouse-such a vision!

The inside of this house is so simple, yet elegant.  Perfect for a precious little Princess...

The ribbon-cutting made this event extra special-so sweet!




So gorgeous-so much attention to every little detail!



The food looked soooo good!


Shabby Chic elegant....





LOVE the cake!!

What a lucky little girl-this Mommy did a great job!  It's beautiful Julie!!!



Once again, this gorgeous playhouse was featured at Kinser Event Company!  Check out her other exquisite ideas-I know I will!

The Life of a Gypsy: Nashville's Early Carnival History

There's something so romantic about the life of a gypsy. Women with their romantic layered clothing and big hoop earrings and scarves, telling fortunes harmlessly. Musclebound men of the gypsy tribe working hard to set up their latest camp, happy and charming. Gypsy children running around barefoot and carefree -it seems without a worry. They are a tight knit group and rarely move into attachments to people outside of their group, so the bond between them seems especially close. They even have their own gypsy language. Moving from town to town, always finding a new adventure, gypsies are a mystery to all of us.  Seems like being on vacation every day, but stumbling upon this blog, I found that many Nashvillians didn't associate Gypsies with anything that had to do with romance. They weren't quite so thrilled when they saw the gypsy wagons arrive in town yearly. Residents were even warned via radio that "the gypsies were coming to town, lock your doors."  Gypsies would set up a carnival annually on Carney Street here in Nashville. Carney Street is a stretch of road that runs parallel underneath an overpass. Basically, there are a few small run-down houses located there now. But one area of the road is a large clearing that even today looks like it could be a
campsite.

Carney Street in Nashville

Fortunetellers

Gypsies go by many names;and the name they go by is often because of their ethnicity. Gypsies, Travelers, Carnies, or Knackers. The Gypsies that came to Nashville in the 30's were mainly thought to be "Irish
Travelers."
"The Old Guy" from The Nashville Wanderin Around Blog says:

Carnival Grounds

       "Before my time (in the 30s and early 40s) the lot down on Second Ave. where it splits of from Fourth Ave. coming into town, across from the Fairgrounds, the one bordered on the one end by the washed out mobile home park, fronting Second Ave. towards town all the way to the railroad viaduct then following the railroad right-of-way to Browns Creek, then Browns Creek to Moore Ave. at the former mobile home park, then out Moore Ave. to Nolensville road was the city carnival grounds. The carnival mentioned was as I understand it a particular carnival run by a group of “gypsies”. Whether or not they were truly “gypsies” I do not know, but they traveled the country putting on their carnivals and would land here in Nashville once a year or so where they would set up there in that lot put on their shows and while they were in town would bury their dead in a local cemetery. I think they somehow carried them with them until they arrived here to bury them. The “gypsies” whoever they were, were considered by many to be quite disreputable."

          Some of the research I’ve done seems to indicate that the "Irish Travelers" used to camp there when they passed through and they may be adding to the info about the site. Whatever, the only remaining vestiges of the old carnival grounds are the memories of the old ones, and the name of the street that runs from the railroad overpass at 2^nd Ave. S. over to Nolensville Rd., …Carney St.

Most of the history of the "Irish Travelers  that visited Nashville yearly to bury their dead has disappeared. They did, however, leave a very positive legacy with the Saint Patrick's Catholic Church on 2nd Avenue in Nashville.  This is taken directly from their Parish website:

"One unique aspect of the parish is its connection to the “Irish Travelers.”  This is a group of Irish immigrants of the mid-1800’s who have not assimilated into the American population as other ethnic groups have done over the years.  Instead, this group remains clannish who live an itinerant lifestyle.  Over the years, various families comprising the Irish Travelers would appear in the Nashville area to hold a common funeral for those who had died since the last gathering.  Weddings and baptisms were performed as the gathering was equated to a family reunion.  Times have changed and the Irish Travelers no longer roam the countryside by wagon but they will return at times to St. Patrick and renew their connection to the parish.  The Irish Travelers have shown their appreciation for St. Patrick by donation of the Infant of Prague statue found in the church vestibule and the statue of Our Lady of Perpetual Hope."

St. Patricks Catholic Church in Nashville 

I would love to more about the "Irish Travelers  and Gypsies who would visit Nashville yearly. I wonder if someone out there might have some pictures of the old Carnivals they set up?

Preparing for Parenthood: Successful Sleeping-In their OWN bed from Birth

Why won't my baby sleep through the night? This is a question most people imagine would be asked by the parent of a six month old, nine month old, or even a year old baby. But it's not uncommon at all for me to have the parent of a three,four or even five year old ask me why their older child keeps waking up during the night crying out for Mom, getting into bed with their parents and having a multitude of sleeping problems. These parents are baffled. These parents are exhausted. These parents assume they are out of options and that they have no choice but to walk around like zombies all day, after a sleepless night filled with multiple requests for "drinks of water" and a distraught and emotional child who eventually ended up sleeping with their legs on Mom or Dads head.  They think they've done everything right. They know their child is well-fed, bathed,  with a clean diaper-if they still wear one. Lots of the parents even describe going to extra lengths to make a perfect  bedtime ritual of reading a story before bed, saying prayers and tucking their little one in sweetly. The thing is, bedtime problems are very common  for infants and, believe it or not, children who go all the way past the age of starting school.  It's absolute torture for the parents-and what's worse is that their child, who has become what I call a "sleep monster" is literally holding them hostage with out the parent realizing it. The parents heart strings feel a huge tug every time their child tells them how frightened they are in their own bed, or how they are parched to the point of dehydration or the infant simply screams anytime the parent takes them NEAR their crib. This little "sleep monster" is not getting enough credit. These parents aren't stopping to consider their child's apparent level of intelligence. For example, any infant  who is able to realize if they scream, their parent won't place them in their crib-well that's obviously a pretty smart baby. The key to keeping your child from becoming a "sleep monster"-Prevention. You are in charge of creating your child's GOOD habits, not the other way around. Have a plan before your newborn arrives about how you intend for your child to sleep. If you intend for your child to sleep in their own bed all night long-make a plan and stick with it. Here are a few tips:

1) Never, ever, ever put your baby in your actual bed where you sleep. I say this from experience-I have had a "sleep monster"-I learned from my mistake. After that experience I changed my parenting and not putting my newborn, toddler, or child EVER in my bed was one of the best moves I've ever made as a parent. I also took accountability for the fact that my child wasn't trying to sleep in my bed for any reason except I had never given any other option. Honestly, your child will be happier and better rested long-term. So will you! In making this commitment to not ever allow your child in your bed, you must make a few sacrifices in the beginning. Making the decision to stick with the plan for keeping your newborn out of your bed will prepare your child to be independent later on. Set up a bottle or breast feeding area in a whole other room for doing night time feedings. Make sure to make this area comfy for you and your baby and well-equipped with a few diapers, wipes and a few changes of clothing. Hopefully, in the beginning you have a spouse or someone else who is willing to help perform  the every two-three hour nighttime feedings by switching off on nights. If you share your bedroom with this person, they will thank you and vice versa for allowing them to sleep in preparation for the next night. Those every two hour feedings are totally exhausting and there is a huge temptation to lay down beside your newborn and breast or bottle feed. This is not only dangerous but is the quickest way to create your very own personal, very, very loud "sleep monster." Your newborn should be awakened during feedings, even in the middle of the night. You are up and they should be as well. Use this time to sing to your baby, tell them a sweet story or even play a little game. In other words, lovingly wear them out. At this point, they don't have a choice as to whether or not to wake you up. All they have the ability to do is sleep two to three hours because of their extreme hunger. Your goal should not be to get your baby instantly back to sleep. You should both be awake. They might cry-it's okay. Remember, they are very hungry and growing every minute. Keep them awake while they are eating. You are setting a precedence for the future by creating a good habit for you and your child. When your baby is done eating and burping, change and swaddle them and place them back in their OWN crib or bassinet and you return to your own bed. These days will be challenging, but will only last a very few months. What you want to avoid is the panic that you will feel if your baby cries when you lay them down. If you know they have  been fed, changed, burped-let them doing a little self soothing. It will pay off, I promise.

2) Move your baby to their own bedroom at the right time. Most likely, as a newborn, even though your baby wasn't in your bed, they were close by in a bassinet-possibly even in your bedroom. My suggestion is moving your newborn into their own crib as soon as they are able to roll over. Usually this is around five and a half months. It's much less of a challenge to avoid having a "sleep monster" if your six month old is in another room, away from you. At first, you will be nervous-use baby monitors to listen or even watch your baby. You will sleep better and so will they. Invest in cozy, footed zip up pj's made of blanket like material so you never worry about your baby becoming cold or needing blankets. Make their crib safe-they don't need extra blankets, toys or stuffed animals. Their bed should be for sleeping-it isn't a place for playthings. Now, at this age in your child's development, the parent has to be very careful not to give in to rocking their child to sleep-your goal for their future is independence. Your child can be lovingly rocked with a much greater impact on their self esteem while they are awake! Never stay in their room and pat their back while they go to sleep or continually put a pacifier in their mouth. If you have done your job singing to your child, playing with them and lovingly wearing them out while they are awake-they will be exhausted. Make sure they are fed, changed and lay them down while they are awake. You will be shocked at how independently your child will fall off to sleep with precious goos and coos eventually if you realize forming these great habits is so crucial beforehand. Something you can do as early as birth with your baby that forms a wonderful habit and memory is to take your child into their room anytime they need to go to sleep and talk very lovingly to them about how special they are to you. Tell them how blessed they are to have such a beautiful place to sleep and how they are your little Prince or Princess. Do this as you're laying them down and make that a positive experience. I did this with my own children and I must say they LOVE bedtime and rarely get out of their beds. I still tell my girls every night, "Now go get into your beautiful Princess bed and go to sleep!"

3) Don't keep your house quiet. This is a common mistake parents make. Your baby/child should be tired and so ready for sleep that noise never bothers them. My only suggestion might be to put a little sign on your door asking people to refrain from doorbell usage. For some reason babies hate doorbells. If your baby wakes up prematurely, leave them alone for a while. Give them the opportunity to behave in accordance with the habits you are working on together. Most likely they will go back to sleep on their own if that is already a habit.

4)  Make sure your child/baby is well fed. Babies and children eat lots! They won't sleep well if they haven't had at least the same amount of food they had the day before. Remember, a full baby is a happy baby. Feed on demand.

5)  Don't pick your baby up every time they cry. You will be sorry if you fall victim to their needless pleas for attention through crying, and you aren't doing them any favors. It's totally normal  for babies at several stages  if they begin to go through a period of separation anxiety. At around five months old, your baby will start to cry if you try to lay them down either for a nap or to play on the floor during tummy time. They are testing you. Just ignore their cry and pretend it has no effect on you. Continue to talk sweetly and in a happy voice despite their attempt to cause you to react. Babies are smart and will quickly learn to cater their cries to the rewards you give them with your reactions.  If your child, once again, has been fed, burped and changed-you know this is another challenge you will have to weather all in the name of creating independence for your baby. During this difficult and challenging time, you will undoubtedly know you have read, sang and nurtured your child-and you can take great pride in knowing you are helping them to continue creating independent habits. One tip to keep your infant or even bigger kid happy-change their activity every twenty minutes. For instance, if they started out on the floor you might switch to their swing and then maybe a bouncy seat.

6) Limit the amount of time you hold your baby. Babies of all ages absolutely love to be held. Imagine if every time you woke up you saw a loving face looking down at you? Imagine feeling a warm body next to you, cuddling you with unconditional love. It's perfectly fine to give this to your child, but also think of this-even babies get sore muscles from being handled too much. Babies need love and cuddling and to be sang and played with-while they are awake. They also don't need over stimulation-babies will cry simply because they have been played with too much! Although you feed on demand, a napping schedule and regular nightly bedtime are keys to keeping your baby and you well-rested.  You are not only creating a good habit when letting your baby have time to themselves, you are giving them some down time they need to adapt to being a self soother.

7) Don't put your child in your bed when they are sick. This might sound mean or heartless, ridiculous or extreme. But, even having a sick baby or child in your bed  for one night may be enough to encourage them to revisit that option in the future. Don't ever let them know this option exists, even during sickness. If your baby is sick-you most likely won't be able to go into a deep enough sleep that will benefit you anyway. You may have to let them sleep in their bed and you set up a little bed nearby. Remember, you don't want them to regress on all of the great habits they have created. From two years old and up I have always resigned myself to sleeping on the couch while my child sleeps on the opposite love seat while they are ill. This allows me quick access to be their nurse and have the ability to take their temperature, help them with a sick stomach and give them meds. Although my children have mentioned lovingly the times they have been sick and we have slept on the sofas, it has never been an option for them to revisit. I returned to my own bed when I felt they were well enough.

8) Be strong and push away thoughts of guilt. Keep in mind that good parents are not neglectful. Neglect and laziness go hand in hand. It is 100 %  lazy and not in the best interest of the needs of your child for you to allow them to make decisions on their own. Particularly decisions that create habits that are bad and have a huge impact on you and your spouse personally, your marriage and the success of your entire family unit. While saying a parent who lets their child sleep in their bed is lazy may sound harsh, it's true. Cosleeping with your child as a newborn makes the responsibilities of being a new parent somewhat easier, but not for the damage it does to an impressionable infant. Don't trade a successful future having a child happy and independently reading in their own bed for having a crying, whiny child who can't be more than a few feet away from you during the night. Avoid the nightmare by putting the effort in while they are young and bedtime will turn into a time of day you look forward to daily!!! I promise.

My children are ages 18, 8 and six and we have absolutely no bedtime issues at our home.  My older child is independent enough that he has handled his own bedtime for years, my girls are almost as easy. Believe it or not, at 8:30 pm nightly, I just tell my girls it's bedtime. They brush their own teeth, change into their pajamas independently, get into their beds on their own and they GO TO SLEEP! If you create healthy sleep habits now, it will be the same for your household!

Ten signs It's Snowing in Nashville

We had the most amazing snow day back a few weeks ago here in Nashville. I know, I know-all of you Yankees don't really understand our excitement when we get an inch of snow. You also don't understand why we close down the schools. It's also baffling to Northerners as to why when the "S" word is merely uttered, it seems all of the bread and milk in all of the grocery stores in town magically disappear. It doesn't matter-it's just a southern thing and I'll just say y'all wouldn't understand. (I realize my grammar in this last sentence was bad, I was simply attempting a little humor-read the sentence again with a southern drawl.) Anyway, here are a few pretty pics taken by my hubby. Thankfully he's decided to make photography his new hobby and I'm loving it! 

 Here's my silly list to read while viewing our snow day pics:

Ten Signs It's Snowing in Nashville

1) You wake up to the "Snowbird" music and everyone sits around the TV in eager anticipation of Metro school closings. The announcement becomes the most important announcement since Twinkies went into oblivion. 

2) The kids start pulling out the sled and snow shovel-and start searching for a carrot and something that resembles coal eyes. While they're searching... the snow melts.

3) You overhear a Yankee talking about how dumb southerners are for closing the schools because of the  threat of snow. 

4) You overhear the same Yankee the next day discussing their vehicle performing several donuts on the slippery ice before going into a ditch. 

5) People are seen outside of their houses taking pictures of their house with snow on it. Your Facebook feed is filled with those pictures. Their pictures are also featured on the local news as a story.

6) Local programming is canceled so TV stations can constantly update you on the latest wrecks, icy overpasses and black ice. Meanwhile, you realize the newscasters are so exhausted from the long hours you are starting to confuse them with the zombies from the "Walking Dead."

7) People who live on steep hills set up a viewing area inside of their homes to watch cars wreck going too fast down the hill. You know, because some people don't understand that Lisa Van Camp said stay off of the roads.

This is the biggest snowman we could make!

8) The kids go outside with ambitions of building an igloo, a giant snowman or possibly an ice slide. They finally realize they will be lucky to make an 8 inch baby snowman.

No, we don't care we are cold-we're making snow angels

9) Although they canceled school, all of the snow and ice is melted by noon. You later spot someone outside jogging in shorts.

My Snow babies

10) Your kid suggests you make some "Snow Cream" like their friend from school told them they did with their parents at their much cooler house. They think you are mean for telling them no.  until you point out to them that the snow is merely laying on top of the place where your dog uses the restroom.

My little French girl

Not a care in the world

 We can't wait for it to snow again here in Nashville!